Please send all comments to Lady Serez


All hail John Rein-Hagen and his army of suited lawyers (are they Brujah in

disguise?), while I make homage to him and borrow his characters for a

while--I'll put them back when I'm finished with them. I don't know how long

that'll be, however. The P.I.,Cat, Emily, Alia, Jania, Miriam and John

Kohanek are all mine! This is based on the surmise that Frank's family is

Polish, or at least Eastern European, based on his last  name. This story

also takes place after "Cabin in the Woods". Comments and virtual ice cream

to LadySerez@aol.com. And now on to the show...



Family Reunion

by B. Sheeks. "Frank! Frank!, FRANK, FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T PRETEND I'M NOT HERE! THAT WON'T WORK!" yelled a woman wearing a denim jacket and looking very much like Frank Kohanek, now hiding under the desk. Sonny Toussiant stared in frank amazement as the woman marched over, pulled Frank from out under the desk, and gave him a kiss. "Ummh...lady, who are you?" asked Sonny. "Me? You mean little brother here didn't tell you about his family? Well, that'll change." Turning to Frank, the woman continued,"Mom missed you a lot, so she's coming to visit--and when Sis Emily found out she was coming, decided to make a second honeymoon, and so on..." Frank, at this point, was practically hyperventilating, "Who's... *gasp,wheeze* coming?" "Hmm...last time I called, Mom, Emily, Jania, Alia, and Dad. Don't worry--the youngest generation of Kohaneks aren't coming. I didn't think your heart could take it, so I talked them out of bringing these little demons." Sonny, with his mouth hanging open, gaped at the woman. She looked at him, "Oh-right, you don't know me--I'm Cat Kohanek, his older sister. I'm a U.S. Marshal, currently on vacation. Well, sort of. He really didn't tell you,did he? Frank...when Mom finds out these people think you were a virgin birth...well, just let's say I hope you have plenty of dishes, and the money to replace them." Sonny stared at Frank, who at this point was trying to wriggle out of Cat's clutches. "You didn't tell me you had a sister--let alone four sisters. Kwan is going to love this, isn't he? Why didn't you tell me, Frank? Do you have a insane fifth sister in the attic, or something?" "No, Frank does not have a fifth sister, let alone an insane one. He is, however, the black sheep of the family. Oy-look at the time. I've got to meet someone at a bar...The Haven, I think. I'll let Frank explain everythin' to you--if he ever stops wheezing.Nice to meetcha, Sonny." With that, Cat left. Sonny, and half the staff room, turned to look at Frank. Frank just buried his head in his arms. Somewhere, the P.I. was laughing. "Look at all those t-shirts--I want to buy some for Christmas! Give me your wallet, John. John? Oh damn." Miriam Kohanek looked down at her husband, who had passed out in one of the airport chairs. She looked then, down the long hallway, at her daughters. Jania Scarletti, Emily Grace, and Alia Mazan were all regarding a man with slicked back hair and the look of a trapped animal--more specifically, an animal trapped by a gang of Kohaneks--with pictures of their children. "Mom? Hey, Dad! Did he take these pills again?" asked Cat Kohanek, who had come up behind Miriam. Miriam smiled, "Yeah. You know your father--he hates flying. This's the only way I can get him anywhere. My, you look pretty! Little black dress with a holster--is this one of your cases?" "Nah--just been at this really interesting bar, the Haven. Btw, I saw Frank at the station, and no one there seems to know anything about us--they apparently think Frank came out of nowhere. Well, they know better now, don't they? Mom, why don't you go and rescue that poor man from the Kohanek horde?" Cat then pulled John to his feet, "I know where Frank lives--here's the address. I'm taking Dad there, and you can follow in another cab. Just don't let Jania tell him or her about how dangerous it is to drive a cab, or he's bound to dump you all out." Miriam watched as Cat staggered out with her father's dead weight wrapped around her neck. These two, she thought. Frank and Cat. They're Kohaneks through and through--not Rosewitzes. Honor-bound to enforce the law, it's in their blood. *disturbance* Miriam turned to see the Kohaneked man run down the hall, with 3 puzzled ladies staring after him."Now, what did we say?" asked Emily. The man was so busy looking to see if the ladies were following him that he didn't see Miriam. *thud* "Oh--are you all right?" asked Miriam as she pulled the man to his feet. "No, I really should ask that of you." said the man. "Well, what's your name? I do hate referring to people as Hey you." "Oh-call me Angelo. You have a New York accent, are you from there?" "Oh, yes." Miriam and Angelo walked down the hallway, chatting. Emily, Alia and Jania quietly followed. The P.I. raised his hat to look at the departing ladies --and gentleman. *Now, that's a interesting development. Our man Angelo is some kind of higher up in the Mafia in New York, and I heard real interesting stuff about him--and Frank's sister Cat. Oh, the widow's peak guy is going to love this. Hopefully pay me more. Still, I wonder why, when I mentioned the name Kohanek to my guy in New York, he started to stutter. He only stutters when he's frightened. Now, what's that all about?* Deep in thought, the P.I. never noticed the little ankle-biter headed right for him on her tricycle. He didn't remember anything much after the tricycle ran over his face..twice.